Today i passed by that place i was told i shouldn’t go back to.
‘It is too soon.’
‘It is not worth it.’
‘It will destroy you.’
‘You will not progress.’
They were all right.
Today i decided to take myself through a dangerous trip; memory lane. It all started with a bouquet of wilting roses. It is funny how something can fade away and perish while still going out looking so beautiful like those flowers. Like an Elvis album, the roses did not look too bad as they were perishing. I always kept a bunch of roses in the house to add colour to the room but this time they sucked out a bit of my soul. My favourite type of roses are Rosa Mister Lincoln known in layman’s language as Red Roses. Whenever you’d walk into the living room, you are likely to be greeted by a bunch of red roses in the extremely tall diamond laced glass vase by the small wooden table on the left-hand side of the couch. Every time i would look at them when i am sitting on my recliner after a long stressful day, they always gave me peace of mind as if everything going wrong would be fine but today it was another story. The roses were not as fresh as they were when i bought them two weeks ago as they were starting to look drained and exhausted with all the bright red pigment having been sucked out into a dull yet elegant yellow colour with a pint of fading dark red on the edge of the petal.
It had been another stressful day at work. The email i thought i had sent to the suppliers with information about their payment had failed to be delivered and we lost our cash discount because of it so everyone was on my case about how i was slacking behind. Having been working at the company for eleven months, i was still having a hard time from my bosses, mostly because one of them did not believe i deserved the job in the first place so i was always trying to prove myself and this mistake did not settle down well with him. Arriving home, i was a wreck mentally and decided to relax on my favourite chair but as i was sitting, i glanced at the wilting roses on the oak bench table and it all came tumbling back. I started to remember things i should not have.
I remembered the day he left…
It was another episode of our classic fights but that day it had been intense. Words were said which cannot be unsaid now. Stuff was thrown at each other and tears were shed. It had been the messiest fight we had ever had. He decided to go out to relieve his anger and that was the last i saw of him. As his car pulled out of the driveway, i stood by the door looking at Sean leave my life thinking he would come back to his senses but he never had the chance to. As i closed the door behind me, i was greeted by a couple of wilting roses and cursed myself for not caring for them better. I sat on the chair and waited for his car to arrive but he took longer than usual to come back to me. I ended up falling asleep on the couch wrapped around his fleece blanket longing for anything which had his scent. I was awoken by a call on the landline at 3:14 in the morning and as i approached the phone to answer i swear i knew what had happened. The tears were already gathering in my eyes before i even answered the phone because deep down my gut had already told. I felt weak as i was picking up the phone to hear,
“Hello. Is this Tyn Rit…”